Confidence

So, I've been thinking a lot lately about confidence - and I think I'm losing it. Yikes! Is that an age thing? Nah! If anything, my new mantra, "Question, question, question and then ask every question," shows a brash and sassy sort of confidence...or maybe so much ignorance that no one can believe it's real so assumes it must hide genius...sort of a Forrest Gump kind of backwards intelligence. That's what I'm hoping for, anyway. But my confidence thing started with my running - okay, it's jogging at this point. Suddenly, I think I can't do things...like I can't finish the Government Trail, or will have to turn back on the Lost Man Loop, or even can't make it to the top of Fisher Creek. I used to not think, just do. I accomplished amazing things. Now I over-think and feel like quitting before I even get started. I think I need to adjust my mantra. I think it must be, "Do the thing you think you cannot do." That would be just about everything! Every morning I think I cannot do my job. I think anyone on earth would do it better. That is debilitating! And then someone tosses me a kernel of praise that raises my hope that I'm rather capable after all. It gets scary to see the youngsters preparing for my position. Had I been at this for 30 years it would be a blessed relief. In my situation, they look like predators! The competition is killing me...or maybe it's keeping me on my toes. Hmmm...I suppose that's a concept for another entry.